Rookie Mom Memoir

While clearing some of the notes from my iPhone this morning (in an effort to declutter), I came across a hilarious…and all too familiar memory from early motherhood. Mind you, I am still in early motherhood given my son is only a wee 15 months…but this was written in one of the “Reality Check” moments during the first few weeks of new motherhood…a special and extremely vulnerable season for all new mamas. Fortunately, I was able to find the humor in the humility, a creative habit I continue to develop daily!

1.22.15 – I GOT THIS

Inspired? Why YES! I am reemerging into my pre post pardom self. Today I took a shower, actually styled my hair and put on make up, most of it in the car…a habit I thought I’d break with a new passenger, but alas, a soul can only conquer so much audaciousness in one day.

Take the cheeky black pantsuit number I discovered on my TJ Max shopping venture, capitalizing on “nap time,” no doubt. As I rocked my new accessory…no I’m not referring to the vanity necklace I previously bought in the Kohl’s Junior’s section…despite the fact I am clearly no longer a “junior” but in charge of one…

Wait, were was I? There seems to be a consistent disconnect between synapses when the brain has only been charged for 2-3 hours at a time going on 9 weeks…so bare with me when it comes to run ons…giving I’m running on fumes myself.

Take my rookie stroller skills which are “bare” and raw as can be. After two egress attempts to awkwardly push the heavy store door forward with my left hand while simultaneously pulling my new four wheeled companion with my right, I found myself wedged between the two when the saintly customer behind me decided to grace me with her offer.

“Let me help you,” never sounded so direct…so necessary. As she reached out with her free hand…a luxury I used to take for granted…I felt my pride stir within as I finally wiggled free from my predicament. “Oh thanks, but I got it,” I responded with a grin…despite the unspoken truth which was all too obvious!

Car seat “Click” and errand number one is done! Will the somber slumber of my precious child allow for another? I decide to take my chances, which brings me to the “find” of my day on errand…no Feat, number two!

As I rummage through hanger after hanger of mismatched floral leggings, a stunning, black jumper reveals itself. The pleated pants and seductive neckline appear far to elegant for the red clearance $19.99 price tag, as though JLo herself decided to donate to my cause…

Pure, unadulterated desire to turn my husband’s head…without two plastic flanges pumping the goods.

It’s terrifying and liberating all at once to remove my well warn yoga pants and cotton tee to slip on an actual form fitted outfit…not to mention one in my pre-preggo size. I hold my breath as I pull the zipper, and despite the last half inch cinch, WHALA! Sexy mama is possible…at least until nap time ends and my yogi’s are coated with spit up…

Until then, I will revel in the joy of splurging and purging…splurging on my whimsical ideal of modern motherhood and purging my exhaustion and disillusionment for just one more hour. (Stirring in the stroller)

Correction, one more minute…

I sigh with relief as I make my purchase and notice a stroller veteran leaving the store. As she backs into the double doors and pulls the stroller seamlessly behind her, I take note and do the same.

I feel the swagger as I walk through the parking lot with restored confidence. “I got this…” “OH YEAH, I GOT THIS!”

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